Male Douche 1: "If Emily Haines shows up, I'm going to jizz my pants!"
Male Douche 2: "How many times?"
Male Douche 1: ""At least three!"
And later...
Male Douche 1: "What are you guys talking about?"
Male Douche 2: "Music. You wouldn't understand."
Male Douche 1: "You guys hate me just because I'm indier than you!"
Oh, boy.
Stay strong! Together, we'll make it through these hard times!
- Douche Toronto
- Toronto, Ontario, Canada
- This is for anyone who has ever cringed at a twenty-something male in skinny jeans, purple hoodie, coloured sneaks, and hair parted at the ears. It's for anyone who has ever stood in an Urban Outfitters/American Apparel/[insert ridiculously overpriced "alternative" clothing retailer of the moment here] store and wailed "whyyyyy?!" It's for anyone who has ever tasted their breakfast in their mouths after being forced to stand in a tightly packed subway car full of girls wearing too-short dresses, tights as pants, and oversized, black-rimmed "prescription" glasses minuses the lenses. It's for those of you who don't obsessively update your Twitters on your iPhones and take pictures of yourselves at karaoke parties to show all your Facebook friends that you get invited to karaoke parties. This is for everyone out there who refuses to live in a world infested with hipster trash. Stay strong! Together, we'll make it through these hard times.